Not Old Yet, I'm Still Kicking

I just celebrated my 32nd birthday earlier this month. Where have the years gone to? I still remember being a kid with no worries except my grades in school. I think back to the days when I was young and wild and we'd laugh about how 30 was old.
Now I truly do not believe I have earned the label of old yet. Maybe as we get older ourselves our perception of age changes because I think 40 is still pretty young. I mean come on, how often do you hear about the 40 year old that just suddenly died. When it does happen we are a little shocked and worried.
I feel like I am getting older, but I have a lot to learn still. I have experienced many different things in my 32 years and I am still hear to tell the story so I'm doing something right. Things have changed like keeping up with my 3 year old now is different then when my daughter was 3 and I find that my taste buds are changing as I get older. I am lucky to report that I have not found a single gray hair yet and I have most of my teeth still.
Really the only things that have changed are my perceptions and ideas about life. I have lived and loved an learned from past husbands or relationships that I have finally found my soulmate and live a great life with him and our Family. I am the proud mother of a teenage daughter and a three and a half year old son. I love my job and I appreciate having it. I just live life and try to keep up with my children.
But I guess I answered my own question about why I am feeling this way lately and now I know I am not old. I am growing and learning. I am raising two beautiful, smart children. Shit I can't b old yet I can still out run my teenager in a 100 yard dash lol.

Two idiots sharing my life through my children

The definition of insane is to keep doing the same thing over and over again hoping to achieve different results...

But when is enough enough?

How many times to you go back to a cheater? How many times do you have to fuck up before you give up or try it a different way? When do you realize that things won't ever change unless you do?

I try to be understanding and supportive, but I can only look the other way so long before I have to do something. If I cannot depend on you to be an adult then I have to step it up myself to make up where you are lacking.
I sit through the lies and filter through the excuses, but in the end all you are doing is disrespecting me. It's always the same story and the ending is always someone else's fault or doing.
I am accused of being in your business and causing drama, when reality is its all your own drama. I will stay out of it when it stops affecting my life and Family. I am only in your BS because of my concern for the children, which you have shown none for what this does to them.

People truly kill me these days. It's easier to blame others and come up with excuses then to be honest with yourself. Life is not easy, but you can make it easier if you are honest and not ashamed to mess up from time to time. Maybe one day you'll get it right and maybe finally realize that I was never working against you, but working with you every step of the way.