I Promise

                I love you Baby with all my heart and soul. I know in my heart, in my mind and in my gut that you are my soul mate. Not everyone finds theirs and I know that what I feel for you and what we have is true. We are Soul mates. We were meant to meet and fall in love. I don't want to live a life without you in it. You mean everything to me and I love the wonderful person I see. You are why I work so hard. You are why I want so much more out of my life. You are what my children love and who they want to share our lives with. You are brilliant, sexy, funny, a total nerd, a realist, a romantic, a great lover, a teacher and my best friend. I LOVE YOU... I promise this will work because I am dedicated to us and our Family.

To weak still

When it doesn't hurt so much I will walk away. All the signs are there and he has made it perfectly clear with his actions that he is not in love with me anymore. I will tomorrow is a new day. I get a lil stronger everyday. I just miss us.

I love you still...

 

I thought everyone deserves a second chance, I guess everyone except me.

The tears keep pouring.

I am so hurt and all I want is my Family, my Life back and better. 

Why can't we fix this or at least try??? Why does it have to be this way? Why do I keep doing things to reach out to you and getting shitted on?  I call and no response. I keep holding on and you keep pushing away.

I know I should just leave him a lone and forget about all of this by moving on with my life, but I love him so much. I want to try. I want to have my Family back.... OMG THIS HURTS SO BAD. I pray to GOD every night to help me, to lighten his heart and listen to me. WHY!!!! Every time I look at my computer I think of him. Every where I turn inside our house I think of him. I hate this so much. I AM SOOOOO SORRY. PLEASE PLEASE. You loved me you said.

 

 

Please lets give it a second chance. No one knows the truth like we do and we want to spend our lives together. We are very strong and we can make it through this if we really want to. Today is a new day.

HAYSTACK THE LONGEST DAY EVER!!!

Today is the big Haystack Concert and my friends who love me are taking me, Love great friends. But the out come is that this is going to be the longest day ever.

 My jacket is Red and even tho this is not my favorite color I love the jacket. 

Red brings out the color of my eyes and it looks good on me.

Yellow is one of my favorite colors and this shirt is about 7 years old and 4 years ago I gave it to my daughter, but I might have to borrow it tonight =)

This is my most Favorite outfit. It has taken the top spot for a few years now. I have yet to find one to top it. I am getting in the shower and then its dress up time...

I will let you know which one wins for tonight.

This is what I went with. I curled my hair, had the most awesome outfit and my makeup was working with me today. 

Now we are just waiting for it to start.

 

CONFUSED STATE

           

 

My head is spinning. I am losing control. This web we weave and we hope others believe. The games we play with our words. Just use your head and look into your heart. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I am being talked into a black pit and I think it is all just a game. I think it is a way to have control or keep control. I hate to tell you I am stronger then that and I am not your puppet.Y...esterday is gone. Today I am healing. Tomorrow you may be left behind. I am moving forward and even at times when it looks like I am falling behind step, if you look really close you will see that I am always progressing. Some just can't keep up and others will live in a world of blame and pain. My eyes are opening and my actions are going to show the progress I am making. When you open your eyes all you will see is my dust. I am smart. I am honest. I am open. I am fragile. I am giving. I am loving and you chose for me not to be yours. Time is healing and love will find me even in the dark.

 

New Pet

My son turned 3 years old in the beginning of December. I am so proud of my children. I love them with all my heart and soul.

Well this year I am a little broke and I cannot do much for my son's Birthday. What is a Mother to do? I did the best I could with what I have to work with.
I love my kids and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this a great Birthday.

 
First thing we did was Birthday Breakfast!!!! Yummy!!!
We invited my boyfriends Family over for Breakfast.
What didn't we have????
Stuffed Pastries: Sausage and cheese filled pastries that James created and tested out for the first time.
Pancakes: Chocolate Chip with peanut butter chunks and walnuts.
Skillet: Home potatoes, eggs, bacon, cheese and some homemade loving.
Milk, Orange Juice and Coffee to wash it all down with.

Now that my son is stuffed and opened one birthday present I sent him to his Fathers house for the weekend. =(
Our real Party: December 7th.
Homemade Chili and corn bread,all his little friends (well most) and more presents.

We all had a blast and we got to see some old friends we haven't seen lately.
Mom being broke this year did all she could to make this Birthday Special. I topped it all off with his Present...

I know he is a little young for a snake, but it will teach him somethings and he will grow into his Present one day.

I said what the Hell, what little boy wouldn't love to have his own snake.
I hate the damn thing =)

 

December 7,2011 The Big 3rd Birthday Party

MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY:

Being around other people stimulates your fantasies today, but an active imagination doesn't mean that you want to share your thoughts. Your daydreams may be quite vivid, but you could feel unsure of yourself as you also remember a prior experience when your plan didn't quite make the grade. You might be a little wobbly as you overcome lost confidence. However, there's no need to act any tougher than you are; leaning on your friends reveals them to be the steady pillars that you need.

My son turned 3 years old this month and I am so proud of him. He is smart, polite, compassionate and as close to perfect as I could get. 

We got him a snake, he doesn't really like her yet, but with time he will.

This scary snake that I have let into my home, the thing that scares the living crap out of me is about to teach my Family a very important lesson.

I hope my son Loved his Birthday!!!