ANGER!!!

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.”

    I have anger issues and it is very hard for me to check it at the curb at times, which always ends me up in trouble. I have been trying to get to the root of my anger, but it is so sudden and out of no where that it has come and gone before I even realize it.
    Anger is the one emotion that we let rule us and it is also the one that causes the most internal damage. It is a hard ball to stop after it gets rolling and if it gets to much momentum there is no stopping it.
    Back in 2001 I got a dose of reality and found myself taking 9 months of Anger Management Classes after striking my husband in a heated argument. I never would have guessed that I could be a spouse abuser, and yet here I sat every Tuesday night from 5:30, right after work, till 7.
    I hated those classes and I didn’t think I really belonged there, but I gave up fighting against it at some point and decided to at least get my money’s worth out of the situation.

(Take a timeout:     Doesn’t normally work when you are in the middle of a heated argument. Emotions start flying, words get tossed back and forth, feelings get hurt and before to long you start saying things that you can’t take back.)

    **    I eventually learned that I have NO patience. I have no patience for ignorance, disrespect, laziness, stealing or lying. I lack in patience to the point that I would sometimes rather do it myself just so I know it was done the way I wanted it done. Other times I watch, test and hope that they see what I am doing and sooner or later do what needs to be done without me holding their hand through it.

(Think before you speak:     I will admit that I do not always think before I speak, but I promise you that I do not say things that I regret later. I don’t think we should take back what we say because we meant and felt what we said strongly and to take it back is like lying. You are lying to the other person to not hurt them and at the same time lying to yourself by not being true to yourself, what you feel or what you say.)

    **    This always makes people think of me and classify me in the bitch box. They hear what I say and if they don’t like what I am saying they blow me off. I am not the kind of person you can appease or push aside thinking that I will just go away. I am blunt, honest and very straight forward which people don’t know how to take me so instantly I am “A BITCH”.

(Try to find solutions:     Try to find a way to co-exist together. Compromise and find common grounds. If you both are willing to bend a little bit and meet in the middle most problems can be addressed and fixed in a timely manner and with minimal casualties.)

    **     I am a giver and always puts others needs in front of my own, so normally I do extra and before I know it everyone starts to expect it. I cannot see leaving the next person hanging, or without if I have it to give. I was taught growing up to treat people the way I wanted to be treated in return. I am honest, even if to a fault, but at least you know that I will say exactly what I think and I wont talk shit behind your back.

“Just because two people do not agree or see eye to eye does not mean there is a battle to be fought here.”


Lesson I learned: You have to except who you are, know who you are and love yourself before someone else can.